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Archive for the tag “motherhood”

What a difference a year makes…

Last year at this time, I was just a few days past my embryo transfer, and was hoping and praying for a miracle. I had already been through so much — multiple miscarriages, lots of tests, a ton of poking and prodding by my doctors, and then a shift to try IVF as last resort to help me get and stay pregnant. Thankfully, it worked! I vividly remember the call from my doctor telling me that I was pregnant and then suffering through hyper-stimulated ovaries for weeks on end until my HCG levels normalized.

During the first trimester, we went in for an ultrasound to check on our baby’s growth every week. Those appointments were both frightening and exciting. Seeing the amazing changes and growth that embryo went through was truly remarkable, but I was terrified about having another miscarriage. Week after week, I was reassured that he was growing and everything was normal. I had never wanted to be “normal” so badly in my life. Thankfully, my 2nd and 3rd trimesters were normal — I was healthy and little man was healthy — and I had a relatively “easy” delivery!

I didn’t realize how hard my fertility journey was on me and my psyche. I really wasn’t myself for so long. Going through years of pain and loss wore me down. Luckily, I have an amazing support network that helped me to continue in our journey to have a child. Now that we have our son, I know that every ounce of pain, every tear, and every loss was worth the happiness I now have. My soul has been renewed; I am happier, more positive, and feel better about life. I am back to the woman I was before all of this started, and am SO grateful for the life I have. It’s truly amazing the difference a year can make…

Baby dust to those of you who are still in the midst of your struggle — I hope and pray that you get your miracle soon!

 

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11+ Weeks

My little guy is now 11+ weeks old, and is growing stronger and bigger every day. I swear he goes to bed one size and wakes up even larger – it’s remarkable! He has also changed a ton – his hair is lighter (kind of a strawberry blonde, like my dad), his eyes are getting darker (but still a beautiful grey color), and he has such a happy and lovable personality ;-). As for sleep, he is slowly starting to sleep a little longer – between 3 and 4 hours at night and napping for 1-2.5 hours during the day – which means that I am getting a little more rest. I am also starting to pay more attention to his sleeping habits – how long it takes him to fall asleep, how he falls asleep, and how long he sleeps – so we can get into a little more of a routine. I also want to begin a more regimented night routine to help him fall asleep more easily.

I have been back to work now for 2 weeks, and he’s adjusted well to having someone other than mommy take care of him. Thankfully, I primarily work from home, so I get to spend time with and feed him often – yay! I am sure the harder adjustment is on my end, but I am managing. I don’t really know how I would do it if I didn’t work at home, however. I have an almost 2-hour commute to my office, so I would barely see him awake during the week, which would be awful.

As for development, little man is starting to really pay attention to people’s faces and expressions. He also loves his hands. It’s so cute to watch him lay on the bed and get so much joy out of discovering his fingers. He’s also ‘talking’ a lot more and giggling a ton. His little voice is my favorite sound – it literally makes me instantly happier!

Life as a mom is even better than I imagined it would be. I am so very lucky to have a wonderful and loving hubby to share parenthood with.

2-Month Update

Today, we had Baby W’s 2-month check-up — yes, it’s been 9-weeks since he came into the world! He is in great health, and has grown a little more than 2 inches and weighs a whopping 14 pounds! He is smiling, laughing, cooing, and has great neck strength. He really is growing up so fast… He also had to have his first round of immunizations, which includes 4 shots and an oral rotovirus vaccine. The shots weren’t a lot of fun — he was screaming a lot — but I think they are important, so I think it’s totally worth it. He’s also been a bit cranky since we got home, but we are doing lots of cuddling and feeding, which seems to be helping.

I feel like I am adjusting to being a mom, and am loving it! Lewis is beginning to settle into a routine — not really a schedule — but I typically have a general idea of what to expect throughout the day, which is great. He is going a little bit longer between feedings, so I’m getting a touch more sleep — still not enough, but that’s motherhood. LOL… Little man doesn’t love napping during the day, but I always make sure he gets his sleep — it’s so important for his growth and brain development. He also still likes to sleep on me or hubby, which means nap time isn’t very productive unless we are walking (see below for more). At night, Baby W is going about 3 hours between feedings and is sleeping in his co-sleeper without a hitch, so that’s good!

I am also beginning to have a little “me” time. I re-joined the gym and had my first real workout last night — yay! I have also been walking 4-5 miles 5 times a week for the last 6 weeks or so. I put little man in his front carrier, and we either go for a walk outside, or we jump on the treadmill (I am actually blogging while walking with him on the treadmill right now). Walking like this has two great side effects — one is I burn calories and am getting back into shape, and two, it puts Baby W to sleep almost instantly! Talk about a great way to get in shape :). I am happy to report that I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight (still don’t have the same body, but I’m getting there), and have 10 pounds to go to hit my pre-IVF weight. From there, I may try to lose an additional 5-8 pounds to get back to my wedding weight — we’ll see how I feel once I hit my pre-IVF weight. Losing weight hasn’t been super easy — it has come off, but with a lot of work and very healthy eating. Breastfeeding has definitely helped drop the pounds, but I need to work on toning now so I can get back into my clothes.

Finally, I go back to work next week — yikes! There have been a lot of changes, and I am little stressed about going back. On the bright side, I work from home, and we hired a great nanny to help with little man during the day. She is a great fit for our family, and I am sure Baby W will really like her. It will definitely be an adjustment to go back, but it’s important to me to work since I really enjoy what I do.

I promise to post some amazingly cute pictures soon 🙂

Best wishes to all!

Baby W is 6 weeks old!

It’s hard to believe, but tomorrow is Baby W’s 6 week birthday. I honestly don’t know where the time has gone — I feel like he was just born last week. Because I am so busy being mommy, and of course getting little sleep, the days and weeks seem to run together. It’s actually nice not worrying too much about what day it is, how many meetings I have, and everything else that goes with work and life. The only things that have mattered over the last month and a half are taking care of Lewis and spending time with my hubby. 🙂

The last 6 weeks have been quite remarkable. I feel like we’ve been on how to be parents crash course with a teacher who doesn’t speak English. We have learned his cues and cries, and watched him grow and change so much already. Baby W has become more alert, is smiling, and cooing — he’s just adorable! His hair has also gotten lighter, but his eyes are still a beautiful grey. I can’t wait to see what color they eventually turn. He loves to dance and play in his activity mat, he’s getting better at lifting his head during tummy time, and I really think he’ll be rolling over in the next month or so. One of his favorite activities continues to be eating, and it shows in his weight gain — he has to be pushing 12 pounds! Thankfully, he knows his nights from his days, but he doesn’t love napping during the day. I am trying to do a better job of reading his sleepy cues, so I can get him to sleep before he has a meltdown from being too sleepy. I have also learned that if he thinks I am going to sleep, then he is more likely to nod off. He also love walking, so I often put him in his baby carrier and we walk on the treadmill or outside (if the weather is nice). Typically the rocking motion puts him to sleep within minutes!

Being a mom truly is an amazing journey! I am loving every part of it, and I am grateful for a wonderful support network. My hubby is an amazing father, and he takes great care of me. He’s been cooking a ton and always takes Baby W at night so I can get a nap in before the nighttime feedings begin. Our family and friends have also been great — they’ve visited, sent gifts, brought food, and just been a fabulous support during this time of great transition. I honestly don’t know how people do this without support from their partner and loved ones!

Right now, I am searching for a nanny to watch Baby W when I return to work in a month. It’s so hard to find the “right” person to care for him. This is one of those time that I wish we lived closer to family — I am so jealous of friends who have family close by who can watch their kids. I have interviews set up this week and am making additional calls to a few more people — fingers crossed that we find the right person soon. I know s/he is out there… On the bright side, I work from home, so I’ll be able to spend time with my little guy during the day and should also be able to still feed him on demand. Yay!

As for work, I have mixed feelings about going back. Part of me is excited to return — I miss the thinking and creativity of my job. But, another part of me is sad that I won’t be able to spend all of my time with my son. I know that I will get used to it, and I will figure out how to find the right balance between caring for Baby W and getting my work done, but it will definitely be a HUGE adjustment…

For those out there who just had their little ones — congratulations again! I am sure you’re enjoying every second as much as I am. For those who are expecting, good luck with the rest of your pregnancies, and all my best for a quick and healthy delivery! And, finally, for those who are still trying, sending much love and baby dust to you!

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