Last year at this time, I was just a few days past my embryo transfer, and was hoping and praying for a miracle. I had already been through so much — multiple miscarriages, lots of tests, a ton of poking and prodding by my doctors, and then a shift to try IVF as last resort to help me get and stay pregnant. Thankfully, it worked! I vividly remember the call from my doctor telling me that I was pregnant and then suffering through hyper-stimulated ovaries for weeks on end until my HCG levels normalized.
During the first trimester, we went in for an ultrasound to check on our baby’s growth every week. Those appointments were both frightening and exciting. Seeing the amazing changes and growth that embryo went through was truly remarkable, but I was terrified about having another miscarriage. Week after week, I was reassured that he was growing and everything was normal. I had never wanted to be “normal” so badly in my life. Thankfully, my 2nd and 3rd trimesters were normal — I was healthy and little man was healthy — and I had a relatively “easy” delivery!
I didn’t realize how hard my fertility journey was on me and my psyche. I really wasn’t myself for so long. Going through years of pain and loss wore me down. Luckily, I have an amazing support network that helped me to continue in our journey to have a child. Now that we have our son, I know that every ounce of pain, every tear, and every loss was worth the happiness I now have. My soul has been renewed; I am happier, more positive, and feel better about life. I am back to the woman I was before all of this started, and am SO grateful for the life I have. It’s truly amazing the difference a year can make…
Baby dust to those of you who are still in the midst of your struggle — I hope and pray that you get your miracle soon!