Day 40 – Anxious and Getting to know me questions
Today’s intention is to be patient.
Today, I feel a little anxious. This process can be a bit unnerving. For as much as doctors know, there is plenty that is still a mystery. Because of the mysteries, there is never a set plan. Every body is different, and so there is no such thing as a ‘normal’ cycle. To that end, you basically just have to go with the flow and do your best to adjust as needed and stay positive. Since I love having a plan, this uncertainty is frustrating and anxiety-provoking. To relieve these feelings, I try to focus on what is within my control, but at times that doesn’t feel like enough; today is one of those days.
I had a doctor’s appointment this morning, and my follicles are growing nicely – yay! Although, the dr had some trouble finding my left ovary – it was hiding from the reach of the ultrasound wand – which was a little unpleasant. It’s bad enough to have a transvaginal ultrasound, but to have that plus a lot of pressure applied to my tummy while trying to freeze-frame the screen at the right time to measure the eggs, well that’s just no fun at all! In the end, the ultrasound was successful, now I am just waiting for the dr to call with instructions and the date for my next follicle check. The retrieval should still be this week, but it will be probably after Wednesday. Works for me 🙂
I am grateful for date nights with my hubby (we had movie night last night); my brother’s fiancé for coming up this week to take care of me; my very supportive family – love you all; my sweet little Kahli; amazing and wonderful friends who are the living definition of angels; and, great doctors and nurses!
I love and accept myself!
DAY 10: If you are not yet pregnant/a parent: What are you MOST and LEAST looking forward to after that first beta?
If you have followed my TTC journey, you know that it’s more of a trying to stay pregnant journey than one of trying to conceive. So for me, what I am looking forward to most and least are the same — the next beta and the ensuing betas and ultrasounds. They are both exciting and terrifying. Exciting because it’s amazing to be able to know and see that my baby is growing, but terrifying because something can (and has in the past) gone wrong. This time, I will do everything I can to remain positive and see the beta checks and ultrasounds as opportunities to learn more about our growing baby, but it will be a challenge. I have absolutely no control over how these appointments will go, so I must trust in everything that I have done to prepare my body for this journey and pray for a healthy and happy pregnancy.
DAY 11: Where do you like to shop?
For household stuff, I love Target.
For groceries, I love Wegmans (such an awesome supermarket), Whole Foods, and Trader Joe’s.
For clothes, I love Ann Taylor, Banana Republic, and Black House White Market.
I also really enjoy kitchen stores. They have so many things that I never knew I wanted or needed 🙂