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Archive for the month “April, 2012”

Update from Blood Work

Just spoke to my doctor, and she said that my hormones still have room to increase, so she is increasing my Gonal-F dosage to 375 for tonight and tomorrow. I will go back on Wednesday for more blood work. I am not thrilled about increasing my meds, but will of course be happy on Wednesday when it has a positive impact on my hormones and the number of follicles produced.

Grow, follicles, grow!


Mud Run Fun


After the mud run!

Day 35 – A little impatient…

Today’s intention is to go for a nice walk outside with my dog 🙂

Today, I feel a little impatient. I had my first hormone check this morning, and now I have to wait until the doctor calls to know how well the meds are working. I thought that I would also have an ultrasound this morning, but I have to wait until Wednesday to see how well my follicles are growing. I know that something is going on because I can feel my ovaries working, have a slight headache, and am exhausted, which is all good news and points to magical egg cooking going on behind the skin. Yay! Thankfully, my doctor always calls by about 3pm, but I always wish that the results were instantaneous. It would save me from thinking about it until he calls.

Tonight, we are going to a baseball game with a group of friends. It’s about an hour drive from our house, so I am going to bring my meds and take the injection in the car – now that will be interesting. I had a dream last night that I was arrested for taking the injection in my car because the police office thought I was doing something illegal. I actually woke up laughing at myself :). Part of me wants to just stay home to take my shot and rest, but we go to a game between these teams every year and I love baseball as well as spending time with our friends — it will all be worth it!

I am grateful for great friends and family; my loving hubby; IVF; egg cookers injections; my health; spending time with friends and family; and, excellent nurses and doctors.

DAY 5:  List 15 facts about yourself.
1. I am a twin, and my twin brother is 27-minutes older than me.
2. I was an all-american softball player in HS and in college.
3. I love cooking shows, especially Top Chef and Chopped.
4. I don’t eat meat, pork, or poultry and rarely eat dairy.
5. I love travelling with my hubby, especially to other cultures.
6. I went to an Ivy League University.
7. I love History!
8. I am a huge sports fan — Go Broncos!!! And, Go Cubs!!!
9. I love dogs, especially my puggle Kahli!
10. My hubby taught me how to play golf. We have a lot of fun playing, but he still beats me every time :).
11. I love sashimi — especially tuna, scallop, and salmon!
12. I love working out — I completed p90x and started Insanity before IVF. After we have our baby, I can’t wait to go back to intense workout programs!
13. I am competitive, but always play fair.
14. Although I rarely eat dairy, I love really good ice cream! My favorite flavor is chocolate with peanut butter – yummy!
15. I met my hubby when he asked me for directions on a train platform on our commute home from work.

I love and accept myself!

Day 34 – Successful!

Today’s intention is to get ready for the week.

Today, I feel successful! Yesterday was so much fun. The weather cooperated and we had a lot of fun at the mud run. I took a ton of great pictures and have great video of the team diving into the mud pit and crossing the finish line. After the run, we BBQ-ed and celebrated my BF’s birthday. Such a great time with so many wonderful people.

At around 730, I went upstairs and did my first injection. I took my time mixing the Gonal-F and Menopur – it wasn’t hard, but it’s a tedious process. I injected the medicine slowly and steadily into my tummy an inch or so away from my belly button. It didn’t hurt, but it does feel weird – you can literally feel the medicine seeping through the abdomen. Other than a little headache this morning, I don’t seem to have any side effects. I have another injection of the same meds tonight, and am heading to the dr tomorrow for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Based on my hormone levels and the number of follicles developing, the dr will adjust my medicine. Fingers crossed for a good appointment.

I am grateful for smiling and laughter; great friends and family; my supportive hubby; love; my Kahli-bear; my health; IVF; insurance; and, great doctors!

DAY 4 – Besides Mother’s Day, what is the toughest holiday to celebrate as someone who is facing fertility challenges?j
Christmas – Christmas is one of my favorite holidays because it’s filled with fun parties, amazing friends, and wonderful family. I can’t wait until our children get to experience all of this fun and be surrounded by so much love.

I love and accept myself.

Day 33 – Crampy

Today’s intention is to relax!

Today, I have pretty awful cramps. I got a good amount sleep and ate an iron-filled breakfast, so am hoping to feel better soon. I can’t take medicine right now due to the impending injections, so I will just use heat and take it easy. I am surprised that my period is this heavy considering I just had my period 2 weeks ago. I am hoping it means that my body is ready for IVF. Cramps always make me a little short-tempered, so I will do my best to not stress about anything.

On to the fun stuff, we are visiting my twin brother and his fiancĂ© and two of my best friends are also here. They are running a mudrun today, and I am here to cheer them on and take pictures. I wish I could compete with them, but I will have to wait until next year for that opportunity. After the run, we will be celebrating my BFs birthday- I can’t wait!

On the bright side, all this fun is a great distraction from injection night. I feel ready – I brought plenty of medication with me as well as extra needles. I have read through the injection directions a few times and feel confident that I will get it right. More to come tonight!

I am grateful for a very fun weekend with many of my favorite people; my loving hubby; my Kahli-bear; IVF; my fabulous parents – both sets; and, my health!

Day 3 – What’s in your handbag?
I don’t carry a purse very often, but when I do, it has my wallet, iPhone, work phone, lip gloss or Chapstick, a small mirror, and a pen and paper.

I love and accept myself!

Baby-Making meds are here!

$8400 worth of meds arrived at my door this morning! Let the injections begin 🙂

Day 32 – Emotional

Today’s intention is to enjoy the beauty and sunshine!

Today, I feel emotional, not in the I am going to cry at any second way, but in the I feel so many emotions way. I feel like time has literally flown by – we will be starting IVF injections tomorrow night! I am thrilled that we are beginning, and terrified that it might not work. I am happy that my body is cooperating so far, and hopeful that it will continue to agree with the meds. I am still mourning our past pregnancy losses, and frightened that we will have another one. I am doing best to feel what I feel. I must allow myself to ride this emotional roller coaster – pretending that I always feel happy and positive isn’t a true representation of what’s going on in my head. Through all of this, I still know that we will have a baby, and I continue to pray that it will be this cycle. I envision my growing belly, feeling my precious miracle moving, giving birth, and being new parents. These days are so close, and i am sure the time will fly, just like the time waiting to begin IVF.

I am grateful for my hubby; my amazing friends who continue to support and love me no matter what; my fabulous family; my great doctors; my health; IVF beginning tomorrow; and a wonderful weekend trip with friends and family!

Day 2 – how did you and your partner decided when you were ready to start trying to conceive?
I’ve always wanted to be a mom, so made sure to discuss this with my husband before we were married. We both want to have children, so we discussed how many and when we’d like to start trying. Our plan was to wait about a year and start trying, but we actually waited about 6 months to start trying.

I love and accept myself!

Don’t Ignore Our Voice!

Blog for National Infertility Awareness Week’s Don’t Ignore Campaign

It’s hard to believe a disease that affects millions of people — almost 20% of couples trying to have children — is so rarely discussed. It is time for us to talk about our challenges, so no man, woman, or couple feels alone in this journey. As soon as I connected with a friend also going through fertility treatments, and then opened up to others, I realized that my voice is important. I am not alone in this struggle and I need the love and support of my family and friends in order to battle infertility! The last 15 months have been the most emotionally challenging and, at times, devastating of my life, and without my amazing support network, I wouldn’t have made it through.

When I was originally diagnosed, I was ashamed and embarrassed to discuss my inability to have children without medical assistance with even my closest of friends. It took me months to tell my family, and even longer to discuss openly with friends. I have always been the one to take care of others, and am not used to needing people to take care of me. I am also a happy and successful person, so to be diagnosed with such a devastating illness and to suffer 4 pregnancy losses, I just didn’t know how to handle such sadness. When we originally started fertility treatments, I believed it would be easy. I would pop a few pills, go to a few doctor’s appointments, get pregnant, and have a healthy baby. Little did I know at the time, that the first three things would be easy, but the final — and most important — would be so painfully difficult.

Now, as I prepare for my first round of IVF, I realize that our collective voice is so important! This disease affects millions of couples, and our society chooses to ignore it and us. Only 7 states in the US mandate health coverage for fertility treatments, and many insurance plans omit important fertility care. This is shocking! Infertility is a disease — we did nothing to cause this, and should not be punished because of our bodies’ inability to reproduce without medical assistance. We have an important voice in the fight against infertility, but it’s up to each of us to make sure our voice is heard and that we fight for our right to have children.

Infertility affects more than 10% of the population, and impacts our families, friends, and loved ones. It is time to raise our collective voice to educate and bring awareness to this awful disease. Together we can make a difference!

Day 31 – Excited

Today’s intention is to take care of myself.

Today, I feel excited. Tomorrow, hubby, a great friend, and I are driving down to visit my twin brother and his fiance. We will also get to spend time with my best friend and her wonderful girlfriend — I can’t wait! Everyone is running in a 5k mudrun, and I am the ‘official’ group photographer. On Sunday, we are heading to brunch to celebrate my BF’s birthday — yay! It will be a great weekend full of amazing people! I honestly can’t wait. Yay!

I also started my period today and will be heading to the RE tomorrow morning for blood work and an ultrasound. The Dr will check my hormone levels and make sure my ovaries are ready to begin producing eggs. She will use this information to make any final tweaks to my medication protocol and to make sure that we are indeed ready to get this baby-making party started. As we get closer to Injection-day, I am feeling more confident. I even dreamt about poking myself last night — it was a good dream, and I feel more prepared and calm.

I am grateful for the love and support from many amazing people — my friends and family, I couldn’t do this without all of you!; my awesome hubby; my Kahli-bear; my great doctors; health insurance; my health; my knowledge; acupuncture; and, IVF!

Question of the Day — What does your blog name mean?
My blog name simply states what I think will help us to have a baby — a lot of love mixed with plenty of hope = baby!

I love and accept myself!


30 Days of Questions

I am going to add some get-t0-know me questions to my blog over the next 30-days. Thank you Laughing Promises for sharing!

Here are the questions:

DAY 1 – What is the meaning behind your blog name?

DAY 2 – How did you and your partner decide when you were ready to start trying to conceive?

DAY 3:  What is in your handbag?

DAY 4 – Besides Mother’s Day, what is the toughest holiday to celebrate as someone who is facing fertility challenges?

DAY 5:  List 15 facts about yourself.

DAY 6:  Talk about how you chose your RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist).

DAY 7:  What is in your makeup bag?

DAY 8:  If an observant stranger were to walk into your house, what clues could lead them to believe that you have struggled with fertility?

DAY 9:  If you won the lottery what would you blow your money on (after charity and bills, of course)?  List 10 things you would buy or spend money on.

DAY 10:  If you are not yet pregnant/a parent: What are you MOST and LEAST looking forward to after that first beta?

DAY 11:  Where do you like to shop?

DAY 12:  If you are not yet a parent: What are you MOST looking forward to about parenthood?

DAY 13:  Describe your dream vacation.

DAY 14:  Tell us about your funniest Clomid/Follistim/injectables mood-swing story.  If you don’t have one, tell us your funniest general infertility drug story.

DAY 15:  List 5 things you want to do before you die.

DAY 16:  Have you ever bonded with someone IRL over infertility, even just for a few minutes?  It could be a family member, friend, neighbor, or even the clerk at the grocery store who noticed you OPK and vitamin purchase.  Tell the story.

DAY 17:  If you could have 3 wishes, what would they be?

DAY 18:  What is your favorite infertility-related quote?  It doesn’t have to be explicitly related to infertility, but one that means something to your personal journey.

DAY 19:  List 5 pet peeves.

DAY 20:  Were you a product of infertility?

DAY 21:  List 5 guilty pleasures.

DAY 22:  How has your financial situation affected your infertility journey?

DAY 23:  Put your iPod on shuffle.  List the first 10 songs that play.

DAY 24:  Does your religion (or lack of) help/hurt/affect your infertility journey?  Have you found religion?  Lost it?  Does it affect what treatments you do?

DAY 25:  What was your first baby or pregnancy-related purchase you ever made?  Was it before or after you started trying to conceive?  Or was it after you were already pregnant?  Why did you choose that particular item to buy first?  If you haven’t purchased anything yet, why not?

DAY 26:  Post a picture of something that makes you happy.

DAY 27:  What do you use the “nursery” for right now?

DAY 28:  Have you ever done something “non-traditional” in order to help you conceive?

Day 29:  What is your favorite book?

DAY 30:  After a month of infertility talk, we need a distraction.  Give us a link to one of your favorite non-infertility-sites, or tell us about your favorite distraction activity/book/feel-good movie.

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